Friday, January 7, 2011

Why I Don't Like Tuesdays (When I'm On a Shopping Ban)

 I confess that at 3 am Tuesday morning, there was an item sitting in my Anthro shopping cart, in spite of my new year's resolution to avoid this sort of behavior.

I didn't pull the trigger, though.

You see, I've enlisted the help of my husband to keep me on track with this no-shopping-'til-the-bills-are-paid-and-some-money-is-saved resolution. And he has a dastardly, devious method of keeping me in line.

Does he take away my credit cards? Nope. Does he limit me to an allowance? Nuh-uh. Does he threaten or shout or break plates? Not even a little. It's worse than that, my friends. Really, really bad.

He appeals to my conscience.

He looks at me with love and gently, kindly says, "I trust you to do the right thing."


Seriously, right? Am I right here? Isn't that the absolute worst tactic ever? It's positively underhanded and extraordinarily cruel, because there's no way I'm able to worm myself out of that one. In fact, I did buy something for myself today (as a reward for completing an ENORMOUS work assignment which has had me up and stressed out for the last month), and I paid for most of it with gift cards. But still, when it was time to pass over my debit card to pay the $19 balance that remained after the cards were applied, I felt horribly wicked and bad. $19! For a James Perse shirt! You know, the one that usually retails for $144? Yes, that one! On sale now, here. (I got it in pink! Because spring is around the corner! Apologies to those of you who live in the Northeast and northern part of the Midwest...).

So, even though the Eglantine cardi went on sale, and it'd be SUCH a great sweater to have, and the Kate Spade All-Typed Up Clyde was on extra sale, and I've been wanting it for months, and those boots! Those boots! Those Bow-tied Beauties - yeah, I put them in my shopping cart, and then I dithered. I dawdled. I fell asleep. And in the morning, they were sold out online, and I didn't call Heather at FV's Anthro to ask her to hunt some down for me. (Same for the Kate Spade bag. It's okay everyone - there will be other bags, and maybe I'll even track this down via ebay in the future. Thanks for all your support though!)

Tuesdays suck when you're on a shopping ban. And when your husband trusts you. Sheesh.

(Disclaimer: No wives were actually mistreated in the production of this post. It's just my addiction whining.)


  1. I cried reading this post. Ok, not really, but I totally understand what it feels like! A shopping ban has got to be one of the hardest things a woman can go through in her life. Especially when there is Anthro sale Tuesdays to tempt you. I'm feeling horrible for breaking my shopping ban. Good for you for resisting the temptation, even if you needed your husband to help you. That's what husbands are for, to help us get through times of trial.


  2. I feel your pain - I am on a "browsing" ban so I still allow myself to buy things that find me (but I won't actively look for them...a step in the right direction?). Everything you posted is too cute and I can't believe that JP shirt was only $19 (I'll take 10 please), it's a little pricier on Nordies so I wasn't tempted. :)

    Be strong, and I agree that your hubby's tactful in weaning you off a shopping addiction.

  3. good for you!! i'm trying to consolidate my wardrobe and realizing that i just have TOO. MUCH. STUFF.

  4. You are a stronger woman than I! And that's probably why your husband trusts you to do the right thing ;) Mine wanted to know what that big box was...I rebought those darned boots. But now I'm done until Spring. For reals. Well, for maybes, at least.

  5. Great job! The pretties won't stop coming. There will be more.

  6. Ha! This post made me chuckle--my husband does the same thing to me, and it's infuriating! It's almost like I'm a kid again and my mom tells me to make the "responsible choice" and I know what I need to do but don't want to. :)

    I read your blog often and do not comment much, but it's absolutely delightful. Thanks so much for the work that you do!

  7. My husband does the exact same thing. He is quiet, sweet and loving, trusting me to make the right decision! Gets me every time! But on the plus side, when I have went ahead and bought something he never second guesses me. Guess that is what trust is about...

  8. Sorry to hear about your ban...I'm single so there's no one to help me with a shopping ban (unfortunately). Maybe you'll feel better when I tell you this: I was so excited to snag the bow-tied boots this week. I got them in the mail last night, and was so disappointed (they're going back)! They fit HUGE around the ankle (very bunchy), come all the way up to my kneecaps (I'm 5'4") and the leather is stiff and uncomfortable. So sad, because they're adorable :-(

  9. I admire your willpower. Can you please send some of it my way? I was on a shopping ban but convinced myself that getting the Bowtie Boots didn't count because I was using Christmas money. Ugh.

  10. I also admire your willpower. But I'm sure you'll "do the right thing". Haha.

  11. I applaud you on resisting! I sympathize with you, I had the refined cord shirt dress in my cart and I let it go. Sold out by the morning. There was a moment of regret but I am glad I didn't break my ban. Ganbatte! :)

  12. Wow! What a cruelty! And a great technique at the same time( I mean your husband) ;)
    I'm impressed by your willpower.

  13. Omg, I thought you were going to say your husband disabled the wifi!

    Good for you for sticking to your guns!! You know what? There will ALWAYS be another purse and pair of boots. At least that's what I tell myself!

  14. I feel your pain. I've decided to put myself on a no shopping ban as well. I had been watching those darn bow-tied beauty boots since they first appeared on-line and since non of my stores sell shoes and they sold out so quickly on-line, I figured they just weren't meant to be. Well, the other day while shopping in the Fashion Valley Mall, I noticed a lonely pair in my size, and COULD NOT pass them up. They are even more gorgeous in person, so I HAD to have them. Now, I'm seriously done shopping for a while. I won't even allow myself to browse Anthropologie's website for their new arrivals. I don't want to be tempted.

  15. i'm currently on a shopping fast b/c i'm living in SF and cost of living higher here than where i moved from (boston). currently still in the withdrawal phase where i get slightly short of breath when i see something i really like this:
    not that i could bring myself to by this trench coat even if i wasn't on a shopping fast.
    i just received a sewing machine for xmas. my tactic for getting me through those withdrawal moments is to think to myself, "how could i make that?" i think i can recreate it with a plain khaki bow instead of the lace. coming up with a plan keeps my mind off the original object of temptation for a little bit...

  16. Love your blog!! Tuesdays i Just try and not look at the site but then someone blogs about an item and I sneak a peek and it's all over. I am trying so hard not to spend anything until April when Spring is on sale (hopefully) and Summer will debut, but that's a long ways away........oh no!! LOL!!

  17. sure must be hard resisting those goodies Carol! But you did the right thing. You didn't break your promise. I believe that things happen for a reason and I bet there will be something even better than all these put together after your shopping ban! trist me :-)

  18. This was a great post! I really enjoyed reading it. I'm on a strict shopping budget after too much shopping last year. This is going to help me to resist the temptation when a pretty new something catches my eye. :)

  19. is hard, especially when you're POSITIVE that that one item is the one thing you will make an exception for...

    I totally caved (6 days into the month) on the J Crew site, but have successfully avoided any further backsliding this week...!:P I did have some adorable sale items in y shopping bag at anthro but I successfully left em behind!

  20. If I asked my husband to help me stop my impulse buys on sale Tuesdays he'd either 1) Sneak over and turn off my alarm clock that's set for 3am so that I miss the sales, 2) Put a password on our computer that only he knows so that I can't get on the internet, 3) Find a way to block the Anthropologie website, or 4) Sneak into my wallet and hide my credit cards. He would have no problem taking extreme measures to "help me out", but what happens if I want to break the rules one Tuesday and buy a little something extra? So I just don't ask for his help :)

  21. Thanks, everyone, for your supportive comments! For those of you also on a shopping ban, we can do this together! And little slips are okay - we just need to shake it off, fix it if we can, and get back on the wagon. =D Haha...

    @Elle - actually, I did get the JP shirt at Nordstrom - but it was $19 after I used some gift cards I got at Christmas. =) Sorry to confuse you!

    @Jan - your comment made me laugh out loud. When I read it to my husband, he smiled in sympathy with your husband, and replied, "I know better than to ask" (about the big boxes). So glad you got the boots! I'll live vicariously through your outfit posts. =)

    @nkk - thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words. =)

    @AliciaMarie - yes, mine also refrains from second-guessing me, if I do buy something. Exactly right on trust being a two-way street. =)

    @Anonymous - oh, that does make me feel a little better! Haha, still, they're so lovely...

    @Saya - oooh, yes, Christmas money is complicated, isn't it? It's sort of why I prefer Christmas gift cards - I can't use them to pay bills or put them in savings accounts. =) But hey - if it's Christmas money, then the boots are a Christmas gift, and totally allowed, right?

    @Cindi - this is when I (playfully) sock you in the arm. ^_-

    @Anonymous - gambatte!

    @Pamela - LOL. That would have been SERIOUSLY bad. I'd have had to meet that sort of tactic with retribution. ^_-

    @Shariberry - oh, well, if they were at Fashion Valley, in your size, then that's the universe telling you it's okay to have them, right? (I say this because that's what I would have said to my husband after I did exactly what you did in that situation).

    @anonymous - omg, that coat DID make me slightly short of breath. Just the other day, I was thinking that I needed to a Valentino post. Their things are TOO beautiful. Painfully so.

    @Molly - me too! April is the month I told myself I could do a little shopping (because it's my birthday then), so I just need to get through...83 more days....

    @Andrea - thanks! Solidarity!

    @thatdamngreendress - it's okay - I caved a little too yesterday to the tune of $37, but it's back on the wagon! (And really, it could have been much worse...)

  22. That's kind of my brother in laws way to get my sister not to buy..."don't you want a new house?" or "I thought you wanted to get new floors." My husband doesn't guilt me but I seriously think he should! I fell off the wagon 4 times this week...FOUR! You are a strong woman, Carol! Good for you!

  23. I hate shopping bans... and I can't stick to them.... dang it! My hubby uses the same tactic - and I just do what I want... he SHOULD NOT TRUST ME!

    :) love your blog

  24. Go, Carol, Go!!!
    If you haven't learned anything from doing your fitting room reviews, there is always something new/shiny/bow-tied/beautiful popping up new at Anthro.
    Its all eye candy. You can count on me to keep you in line :)
    At least you don't work there! That's why I had to at least give myself a $50 per month budget. I would die if I had to say no to a $9.95 bargain!

    You can do it!

  25. I'm super impressed with your willpower! It's super hard to restrain from all those Anthro prettier every sale. Instead of a ban I gave myself a monthly budget to stick to and it's just as hard having to narrow down!!! Hang in there...keep up the good work!

  26. Way to stay strong Carol! Those are some mighty pretty items to pass up! If it makes you feel better, I'm almost positive the Typed Up Clyde will continue to show up on eBay after your shopping ban is over :) And btw, I LOVE those James Perse shirts! So insanely comfy. Good use of gift cards :)

  27. Congrats on staying true to your New Year's resolution, Carol. Your husband is a clever one -- I think it would be tough to pass up a guilt trip like that one!!!